Subject: commodore computers are $h!t
From: [email-masked] (Adrian Jenkin)
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1993 03:57:03
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.games

FROM: Voodoo Billabong, South Australia.

G'day Shitface,
On April 16 you wrote a message which caught my attention...

 owwan> From: [email-masked]
 owwan> 
 owwan> amiga are useless and for mindless idiots.
 owwan> 
 owwan> get an ibm loosers
 owwan> 
 owwan> amiga are $h!t

#HIM#: RING!  RING!!  Hello?  Quarantine here.

#ME#: G'day, you chaps must have been smoking something the other day, another
one of those bloody IBM'ers got into c.s.a.g.!

#HIM#: Oh, HELL!  Not agian.  I am not sure how those little bastards get in we
keep on the lookout but they are so small and insignificant that you simply
can't see them until they jump up and say, Look at how groovy my machine is.

#ME#: Yeah, so, what are you gonna do about this one?

#HIM#: The normal.  We hold up a sign which says: "Software UPgrades only $375
and they just come running.  We then give them a carfully disguided computer
(made to look like an IBM) and they sit there and eventually fall over and die
from dehydration.

#ME#: Why?  What is on this computer?

#HIM#: Oh, nothing, it is a picture of an MSDOS screen which say: $/File not
found, press any key to continue.$/  They press the key and the same screen is
displayed, one of them lasted three days before finally dying!

#ME#: Isn't that a little cruel?  After all, they are said to be humans like
us, if not quite as intelligent.  I remember going to the zoo and feeding
them peanuts.

#MIN#: No, that's monkeys, these are humans they just went the wrong way. And
it's not cruel, we are not making them sit there, they just do it.  And let's
face it ... when they are in their natural habitat they simply start killing
each other over who's bios is the best and who can pay the most for their PD
disks.  Sad really.

#ME#: Truly it is.  Why not just shoot them then?

#HIM#: We would but the enslavement and discrimination against IBM'ers has been
getting us into trouble in the electronic communtiy, they claim that these
people should be given equal rites <shudder>.

#ME#: And what has happened along these lines then?

#HIM#: We gave them the option to have equal status but they seem more
interested in killing each other as I said before!  Sad. <sigh>

#ME#: Is there anything I can do?  Can I help them in anyway?

#HIM#: I don't know, we give them the chance to make the world a better place
and increase the overall level of the world of computing but all we get is more
death and destruction.  They will learn, I just hope it is not too late.

#ME#: We shall see, I guess.  have you found the intruder yet?

#HIM#: Yup, he shoved his head into our doorway and shouted:

 owwan> amiga are useless and for mindless idiots.
 owwan> 
 owwan> get an ibm loosers
 owwan> 
 owwan> amiga are $h!t

He then saw the sign and went over and sat at the keyboard.  I will let you
listen to what happens:

     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.
     <CLICK>
     File not found, press any key to continue.

     <Sound of a body falling to the ground.>

#ME#:  Click.  [sound of phone being hung up.]

Later all
Adrian

This was just gonna be a straight flame but it got out of hand.  I think it is
a sign of desperation at the state of the world in general. I will get back on
topic in my next message, I promise. :-S

 * Origin: Voodoo Billabong (3:800/873.1701)